Some girl I’ve never seen

Ukrainian, as it happens, not that it matters.

My student: “Can you draw me a picture? Make it really nice?”
Me: Sure. What?
“I dunno. This girl.” *shows a picture of her class, points out a classmate*
…uh ok. Got any pens?
“This felt-tip. And glittery pens!”
I’ll see what I can do. *scribbles rapidly*
“Also there’s a table and she’s playing ping-pong!”
…a bit late for that. I’ll finish this one and draw a second picture with ping-pong table, OK?
Well let me finish this one, it’ll only take a minute. What I can I put in her hand…
“AAAAAH why did you put an axe in her hand why is there blood”
Well because I’m going to draw another one.
“NO no more pictures. How am I going to give this to her now?”
What…? Look let me draw that one you wanted with ping-pong –


So I scribbled a little note on the picture and told her to tell her friend that her English teacher was slightly crazy, and surely her friend would be ok with it. I suppose I’ll find out how that went in the new year.



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